Devotion, Compassion, Allegiance, Commitment
by StarlightXWishes
Summary: He wouldn’t know that she sat here for him. He wasn’t there. She could have been doing something productive. But what was there left to do? She was just a pilot to him. Another pilot. [TalhoXHolland]


_Just some random drabble resulting from boredom. Listening to It's Not Your Fault, by New Found Glory. And this was mainly written because I'm getting into Eureka SeveN deeeeeply, and there aren't enough fanfictions for it!! ;.; Soooo, I present to you, my favorite Eureka SeveN pairing, TalhoXHolland!! 8D_

_EDIT: Now beta-ed by mah beta-er, Tsukiko7. GO REVIEW HER STORIES. LIKE, NOW. AND UCHIHADESTINY. GO. GO AND REVIEEWWW._

_...But read and review this first, please! X3;;_

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Damn, her eyes hurt. She couldn't blink because of all the salt they'd excreted. Tears? He didn't deserve them. Then why couldn't she bring herself to wipe them away as they dripped down her cheeks? Why had she stayed with him as he lie there in bed, helpless? 

She had a few suspicions. Maybe it was because now was her chance to see the "Great Leader" of the Gekko State finally without any defense. But Talho quickly dismissed this. Yes, at first, the thought would have brought a carefree smile to her pretty face, but now, with the true shockwaves it carried, she was doing anything but smiling. Her mind was overflowing. The sheer thought of him being as helpless as he was at this moment was almost plucking her last strings of imagination. Yet here he was, IV tubes, heart monitor and all.

There was just too much happening. How much did God expect her to take? Her thoughts were like a funnel being filled with replenishing sand. All of Talho's problems were trying to shove their way through her mental screen of logic. And as soon as the bit she was dealing with was over, more petty problems would push their way through. But this… this was like a rock. This damned couple, attacking the Gekko State like this, did they know the consequences of their ambush? _Probably, _she told herself. They had dropped a rock into the funnel, and the sand was beginning to over flow over the edges, much like the burning tears that spilled from the brims of her eyelids.

She couldn't deny that she was attracted to him. She never would have dared say it wasn't true.

Strangely enough, the first word that came to her crushed and bleeding mind was "selfish." How _dare_ he lie here while she was surviving sleepless nights and sitting in a bundle of disarray on his mattress? _It was all because of him_, she reminded herself bleakly. _All for him_.

As this was occurring, her perfect looks were starting to pay for it. Her eyelids displayed public proof of her recent insomnia, a ruining and humiliating tattoo that she couldn't wash away. She felt unclean. Unclean and wasted. He wouldn't know that she sat here for him. He wasn't there. She could have been doing something productive. Oh, who was she kidding? What was there left to do? She was just a pilot to him. Another pilot. It stung her mind, but she desperately needed an outlet for her slowly building and crushing emotions. Just something to take out her rage on would save her for an hour. Maybe even a minute. But some kind of eye in the center of the storm, some sense of false security, of hope, would encourage her to keep proving herself to him, to everyone. But it never seemed to come. Nothing changed; day after day, night after night, the monotonous routine of staying there and staring at his hard and unchanging face was wearing her ragged.

Snapping her thoughts into shards that she could never replace, an average, brightly-dressed Gidget bustled into the room, but stopped, staring at her friend. Talho didn't need this. She didn't need Gidget's cheery, optimistic attitude. She didn't need to be cheered up. She needed Holland to wake up and be the leader he always should have been. But, of course, that wasn't happening any time soon.

"Talho," Gidget whimpered, a worried expression printed on her face, "you'll go blind if you keep sitting in the dark like this!"

"I'm fine," she grimly responded, looking away. Gidget gave a quiet sigh and shuffled over to Talho, gently sitting next to her on the bed. She placed her warm hands on Talho's shoulders and pulled the girl to face her. Once Talho's bleak attention was directed towards her, she loosened her grip.

"It's not your fault, Talho. There was nothing you could have done," Gidget softly mumbled in vain. Talho's dull eyes flicked without much enthusiasm and cast a faded, glazed stare across the room. Gidget, confused and apprehensive at Talho's nonexistent response, traced the path of her eyes to the lamp. "Oh, right!" she piped up, hurriedly fleeing to the lamp to click it on. The sudden eruption of light had caused Talho to blink furiously and clamp her fingers over her hazel eyes. Gidget looked at the dark-haired girl again in concern, and mumbled,

"Talho, please stop crying."

Talho snapped, "I'm not crying!!" with more enthusiasm she thought she could have mustered. The sudden outbreak of emotions, condensed into three simple words, had left her surprisingly weak. However, Talho didn't give up. She glared heatedly at the girl standing nervously next to the lamp. Talho's eyes dared to flick to the nearby mirror, and her fiery, intense expression fell to cold, disillusioned shock. Except in the bathroom when it was impossible to avoid, Talho had been evading mirrors. She knew this was wearing her down. She had been preferring to look straight ahead, at Holland, out a window… anywhere but herself. She knew there were small food stains on her short, attractive shirt. Sometimes she would head to the shower and lose herself in the calming fumes and water. She would step out, then sigh discontentedly as she would realize that she hadn't washed her hair.

At the sight of her own neglected body, her neck fell forward, her forehead knocking into the tips of her fingers and giving way to what she had just powerfully denied just moments ago. They stung. That was all that she could think. Her eyes hurt, and she wanted it to stop.

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_Gawd, those few episodes touched me, mainly episodes 29 and 30... Well… I kinda feel that this is the best thing I've written so far… Reviews are appreciated and critiques encouraged!!_


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